There are many reasons why I journal. But the reason I am journaling right now, I mean the actual reason I am journaling, not the philosophical reason, is that it popped up in my to-do list today. Pretty simple. That’s why I journal pretty every time you see a post.

I have had this miraculous thing happen. And it actually is pretty miraculous. I have gone from someone who didnt set actual goals (I had goals, I just never wrote them down and made steps to accomplishing them) I remember saying to someone. “Yea I dont really have like goals and stuff I write down, I’ve never done that.” I went from that to someone who…. writes down to journal at specific times throughout the week. I have gone from an unorganized guy who just took whatever came, to someone who writes down everything he needs to do, with a deadline.

“How constricting,” you might think. If you think that, and you’re anything like I was, you think you’re laid back and it’s all chill city, but in reality you’re both often stressed about the things that needed to be done, often procrastinating, and often seeing the dreams and goals you have slipping away. That was my story for a long time. Then I just started writing things down. (Short plug: I do all this organizing in an Iphone app called awesomenote. Best couple bucks I ever spent)

So lets say at some point I had the thought. “I should journal some.” A few years ago I would have responded with. “Yea that would be good, I’ll do that.” Then I would proceed to not ever journal. :) But this time I said yea cool, I’ll put that down and do it every Sat and Wednesday or whatever days I gave myself, and then when it comes up I do it. I make time for it, even when I’m busy. Cause it’s part of the list of things I do when I’m hanging out with God, and those things, I just do every day, even if thats the only thing I do that day. If I’ve done those, I’ve accomplished the most important thing I could have accomplished. I’ve grown in my love for God and seen a piece of his incredible love for me. And everything else is just an addition and overflow of that.

I say all this to say this. Dreams are attainable. Change is possible. I was the laziest most undisciplined and least organized person. Some of that was because of things I had no control over, some were circumstance that I let dictate my actions, and some of that was just because I had a lot of growth needed, but God was faithful to grow that area of my life and it has been the most amazing, FREEING, stress reducing, seeing who it is that I want to be become a reality thing ever.

I first have to say that when I said earlier it was miraculous. It was. It all happened because I put my relationship with God first in a way I never had before. And not the striving, trying to please and know God that I had before done. (Thats another post) The relaxed, hanging out with God drinking tea relationship that I am now learning to have. (Oh yea mom and dad I drink tea now, classy right?) Out of that relationship flowed everything else getting sorted. Because I said earlier that I was rarely organized or disciplined, I didnt say that I didnt try. I did try, and I did fail. But when God gets in the picture, where I was failing I am now flying. The second thing I wanna say is anyone that struggles with how they spend their time and accomplishing what you want to and all that, and we all do, there is hope. If I can grow into what I am now growing into, so can anyone. I am sure of that. And that’s pretty cool.